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Reviewing Anger and Aggression Stress Management Dealing with Anger:
We can review anger
and aggression to have a deeper understanding of our emotions and
work toward anger management. Often when a person feels frustrated
he or she is subject to ignite when their emotions are threatened.
Frustration does not occur over night; rather frustration occurs when
underlying issues come to focus. Frustration then is an unfathomable
unrelieved sense or state of lack of confidence and displeasure arising
from unsettled problems or discontented needs. Anger then is the feeling
of anger when a person does not get their way, or a series of issues
was buried waiting for the time to attack. Aggression then is a forceful
act or modus operandi utilized to dominate another individual. Aggression
is an argumentative, harmful or destructive behavior or viewpoint
particularly when caused by frustration. Aggression can be good if
our lives are in danger, but in most instances aggression causes harm.
Assertive on the other hand is an effective form of communicating
your feelings to another individual without causing injury, destruction
or arguments. Assertive is a strong, bold confident we have within
that helps us to defend our rights when others wrong us. If we learn
the difference between aggression and assertiveness we can learn good
behaviors, while controlling our life and avoiding more problems.
If you are frustrated, you might want to sit down and review your
beliefs, opinions, theories, reasoning and so forth. By reviewing
the sources that make you angry you can reduce the tension when you
see that blowing up is not worth your time or effort, since the frustrations
are out of your control. For example, if you are reviewing you might
see the other side and conclude that your frustration is out of order.
Assertive action against another individual that has wronged you can
prove more affective than blowing a fuse. We can see in one example
how a person blows their fuse and what consequences he or she must
face. For example, a couple engages in an argument and a fight breaks
out. One of the individuals was accused of spreading lies against
the other person. The violent episode attracts the neighbors and the
cops are called. When the police arrive, both parties are placed in
handcuffs and both are taking to jail. Their problem increases since
they both may pay fines, court cost, and possible pay probation fees.
Therefore, one problem led to a series of problems and it does not
stop there. When the couple is free of all fines, costs, jail and
so forth they will have a police record where everyone will judge
them for the rest of their lives, viewing them as immature and violent
people. Now let us look at another example were assertiveness was
used in the scene. A couple confronts each other after one person
spreads lies throughout the neighborhood about the other person. The
person victimized by the rumors walks up to the opponent and says,
why are you telling people that I have a drinking problem? The other
person might say, I did not tell anyone that you have a drinking problem.
Wrong says the first person, you told my best friend who is not a
liar. Well, I assumed that you had a drinking problem because you
drink every time I come to your house. Because I drink every time
you come to my house does not mean I have a problem. I refuse to allow
you to continue dragging my name in the mud and nor will I allow you
to visit my home again if you continue lying against me. Friends do
not harm other friends. If you have issues with me confront me with
them instead of going behind my back. Very good job! This person did
a wonderful job asserting self and the results will most likely prove
fruitful. Let us see what happens. I am sorry; I did not mean to offend
you. I will confront you the next time I have a problem. I am concerned
however that your drinking my be a problem, since you do drink every
I visit your home. Well, then let us go to my place and discuss the
issue. Stress management is dealing with anger.
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